Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Things That Are Not Love

"Your salary is not love and your word is not love. Your clothes are not love and holding hands is not love. Sex is not love and a kiss is not love. Long letters are not love and a text is not love. Flowers are not love and a box of chocolates is not love. Sunsets are not love and photographs are not love. The stars are not love and a beach under the moonlight is not love. The smell of someone else on your pillow is not love and the feeling of their skin touching your skin is not love. Heart-shaped candy is not love and an overseas holiday is not love. The truth is not love and winning an argument is not love. Warm coffee isn't love and cheap cards bought from stores are not love.  Tears are not love and laughter is not love. A head on a shoulder is not love and messages written at the front of books given as gifts are not love. Apathy is not love and numbness is not love. A pain in your chest is not love and clenching your fist is not love. Rain is not love.

Only you. Only you, are love."
Him
 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Indeed, You Are.

"You are a cliff that I am trying hard not to fall into. 
You are inescapable."
 - Me

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Ego?

Today, I suddenly felt like I was just posting blog entries for the sake of blogging. Just like what I'm doing right now.

The thing is, at least I am not blogging for the sake of showing off something since what I have been blogging are things that happened to me, things that I felt.

I don't know. It's nobody's business anyway, but mine.

Just read. Or if not, just click the Exit button.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Something About My Thesis. NOT.

It has been a year ever since I started reading books about depression. I am not clinically depressed, as far as I'm concerned, but I was reading stuff about it for my thesis - a requirement in the University when I was still studying - which I eventually finished some months ago. I made a "study" (wow, big word) about depression and how it is manifested in literary works.

Anyway, let's not go further. That was just an introduction of what I will be talking about in this blog post.

So, as I've said, I have been reading stuff about depression, either those things talk about clinical depression or depression itself which is felt by some people. Today, I came to this site called "Hyperbole and a Half" owned by Allie, read some of her most recent posts, and then I suddenly realized something about depressed people who write for themselves.

I already said that my thesis was about depression, right? In that study, I found out that depression can be manifested in literary works through the use of metaphors. The author of "Positively Mental", Elvira Mata, who revealed in some of her entries that she suffers from clinical depression, used different metaphors just so she can "unleash" the depression that she was feeling. In other words, she used different images that served as her outlet in her writings.

I will not say more about this because this thesis had given me too much depression while I was doing it. Lol.

Anyway, on the other hand, this blog that I was talking about also manifested depression, not only in her writings, but also in her illustrations. Yes, Allie used illustrations so that she can express her feelings and so that people, her readers, may be able to understand what she is going through, although some of her works could be found out as something "humorous".

To make it simple, Elvira Mata used metaphors for her entries about her depression, while Allie used illustrations. She also used metaphors in her entries, but her illustrations are more visible.

But that is not the only thing I have noticed.

With these writings I have read from two depressed authors, I realized how "ironic" (I'm not so sure but I think this is the more appropriate term) depressed people can be in their writings about their personal experiences with depression. It is because of the humor they can provide in their writings that, of course, for them may not be funny or humorous at all, words that had just "flowed" from their hands. As for normal people, they would notice that humorous language or illustration. At the same time, people who are sensitive enough to realize what they are reading may also find it hard to gasp what the writer has talked about in his/her writing. I am not sure of the reason why they sound or seem humorous with their works, but really, this realization caught me. Now, I really wonder why entries about depression suddenly appear so humorous.

Does this mean that writing is or has become a mask for someone's real feelings that after fabricating the words they have written, personal entries would soon or might become fiction?

I know we already discussed this part in my last year in college. I need to be refreshed.

What I want to know is something about depression.

Maybe this realization of mine would be further analyzed if I will be able to read more entries about depression.

Should I continue this thesis when I get my Masteral degree?

Ha. Ha. Lol.