Two months from now, I would start worrying about the things that will happen in the next two months after that.
Four months from now and if I get what I wish for, I would stop worrying about waking up early during Monday mornings.
Four months from now, I would start worrying about the things that will happen for the rest of 2014.
Six to seven months from now, it would be a matter of firsts.
Six to seven months from now, it would be a matter of indefinite temporariness.
But before it happens, right now, I should be preparing.
The red carpet will soon be set for new beginnings. Beginnings that are just waiting at the other end where I am currently standing. It's waiting for me, I can see it. I must start walking before the light goes out.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
That feeling you get when you think...
That everything you do is not good enough.
That you are always the second best.
That you are losing hope.
That you want to be away from the world, far from people who judge you.
That you always complain, yet you still do what you complain about.
That everything is a competition.
That you cannot escape from this kind of reality.
That only you can change your own fate.
That the feeling you get when you think about that feeling will take you nowhere.
That you are always the second best.
That you are losing hope.
That you want to be away from the world, far from people who judge you.
That you always complain, yet you still do what you complain about.
That everything is a competition.
That you cannot escape from this kind of reality.
That only you can change your own fate.
That the feeling you get when you think about that feeling will take you nowhere.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
I Need You
To the voice I have found and had lost again, I need you.
My hands are itching to write, my creative mind is on the rocks, and yet, you, my voice, were nowhere to be found. Please come back.
I know you would. But please do it now.
I will wait for you.
Even after three o'clock in the morning.
We'll have some coffee.
My hands are itching to write, my creative mind is on the rocks, and yet, you, my voice, were nowhere to be found. Please come back.
I know you would. But please do it now.
I will wait for you.
Even after three o'clock in the morning.
We'll have some coffee.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Things That Are Not Love
"Your salary is not love and your word is not love. Your clothes are not love and holding hands is not love. Sex is not love and a kiss is not love. Long letters are not love and a text is not love. Flowers are not love and a box of chocolates is not love. Sunsets are not love and photographs are not love. The stars are not love and a beach under the moonlight is not love. The smell of someone else on your pillow is not love and the feeling of their skin touching your skin is not love. Heart-shaped candy is not love and an overseas holiday is not love. The truth is not love and winning an argument is not love. Warm coffee isn't love and cheap cards bought from stores are not love. Tears are not love and laughter is not love. A head on a shoulder is not love and messages written at the front of books given as gifts are not love. Apathy is not love and numbness is not love. A pain in your chest is not love and clenching your fist is not love. Rain is not love.Only you. Only you, are love."
- Him
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Indeed, You Are.
"You are a cliff that I am trying hard not to fall into.
You are inescapable."
- Me
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Ego?
Today, I suddenly felt like I was just posting blog entries for the sake of blogging. Just like what I'm doing right now.
The thing is, at least I am not blogging for the sake of showing off something since what I have been blogging are things that happened to me, things that I felt.
I don't know. It's nobody's business anyway, but mine.
Just read. Or if not, just click the Exit button.
The thing is, at least I am not blogging for the sake of showing off something since what I have been blogging are things that happened to me, things that I felt.
I don't know. It's nobody's business anyway, but mine.
Just read. Or if not, just click the Exit button.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Something About My Thesis. NOT.
It has been a year ever since I started reading books about depression. I am not clinically depressed, as far as I'm concerned, but I was reading stuff about it for my thesis - a requirement in the University when I was still studying - which I eventually finished some months ago. I made a "study" (wow, big word) about depression and how it is manifested in literary works.
Anyway, let's not go further. That was just an introduction of what I will be talking about in this blog post.
So, as I've said, I have been reading stuff about depression, either those things talk about clinical depression or depression itself which is felt by some people. Today, I came to this site called "Hyperbole and a Half" owned by Allie, read some of her most recent posts, and then I suddenly realized something about depressed people who write for themselves.
I already said that my thesis was about depression, right? In that study, I found out that depression can be manifested in literary works through the use of metaphors. The author of "Positively Mental", Elvira Mata, who revealed in some of her entries that she suffers from clinical depression, used different metaphors just so she can "unleash" the depression that she was feeling. In other words, she used different images that served as her outlet in her writings.
I will not say more about this because this thesis had given me too much depression while I was doing it. Lol.
Anyway, on the other hand, this blog that I was talking about also manifested depression, not only in her writings, but also in her illustrations. Yes, Allie used illustrations so that she can express her feelings and so that people, her readers, may be able to understand what she is going through, although some of her works could be found out as something "humorous".
To make it simple, Elvira Mata used metaphors for her entries about her depression, while Allie used illustrations. She also used metaphors in her entries, but her illustrations are more visible.
But that is not the only thing I have noticed.
With these writings I have read from two depressed authors, I realized how "ironic" (I'm not so sure but I think this is the more appropriate term) depressed people can be in their writings about their personal experiences with depression. It is because of the humor they can provide in their writings that, of course, for them may not be funny or humorous at all, words that had just "flowed" from their hands. As for normal people, they would notice that humorous language or illustration. At the same time, people who are sensitive enough to realize what they are reading may also find it hard to gasp what the writer has talked about in his/her writing. I am not sure of the reason why they sound or seem humorous with their works, but really, this realization caught me. Now, I really wonder why entries about depression suddenly appear so humorous.
Does this mean that writing is or has become a mask for someone's real feelings that after fabricating the words they have written, personal entries would soon or might become fiction?
I know we already discussed this part in my last year in college. I need to be refreshed.
What I want to know is something about depression.
Maybe this realization of mine would be further analyzed if I will be able to read more entries about depression.
Should I continue this thesis when I get my Masteral degree?
Ha. Ha. Lol.
Anyway, let's not go further. That was just an introduction of what I will be talking about in this blog post.
So, as I've said, I have been reading stuff about depression, either those things talk about clinical depression or depression itself which is felt by some people. Today, I came to this site called "Hyperbole and a Half" owned by Allie, read some of her most recent posts, and then I suddenly realized something about depressed people who write for themselves.
I already said that my thesis was about depression, right? In that study, I found out that depression can be manifested in literary works through the use of metaphors. The author of "Positively Mental", Elvira Mata, who revealed in some of her entries that she suffers from clinical depression, used different metaphors just so she can "unleash" the depression that she was feeling. In other words, she used different images that served as her outlet in her writings.
I will not say more about this because this thesis had given me too much depression while I was doing it. Lol.
Anyway, on the other hand, this blog that I was talking about also manifested depression, not only in her writings, but also in her illustrations. Yes, Allie used illustrations so that she can express her feelings and so that people, her readers, may be able to understand what she is going through, although some of her works could be found out as something "humorous".
To make it simple, Elvira Mata used metaphors for her entries about her depression, while Allie used illustrations. She also used metaphors in her entries, but her illustrations are more visible.
But that is not the only thing I have noticed.
With these writings I have read from two depressed authors, I realized how "ironic" (I'm not so sure but I think this is the more appropriate term) depressed people can be in their writings about their personal experiences with depression. It is because of the humor they can provide in their writings that, of course, for them may not be funny or humorous at all, words that had just "flowed" from their hands. As for normal people, they would notice that humorous language or illustration. At the same time, people who are sensitive enough to realize what they are reading may also find it hard to gasp what the writer has talked about in his/her writing. I am not sure of the reason why they sound or seem humorous with their works, but really, this realization caught me. Now, I really wonder why entries about depression suddenly appear so humorous.
Does this mean that writing is or has become a mask for someone's real feelings that after fabricating the words they have written, personal entries would soon or might become fiction?
I know we already discussed this part in my last year in college. I need to be refreshed.
What I want to know is something about depression.
Maybe this realization of mine would be further analyzed if I will be able to read more entries about depression.
Should I continue this thesis when I get my Masteral degree?
Ha. Ha. Lol.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Gone in Spring
Note: This sounds like poetry (first draft), but it's more like a free fall. I felt good when I wrote it last night before going to sleep. Would love to know your comments. :)
Gone in Spring
I felt like I lost my chance ever since you answered that question of mine. It's as if the flower buds are about to bloom, in season, since spring is about to come. But then, after I learned about your answer, it's spring, and yet the flowers have died and they didn't even bloom or woken up to the sun for once. Maybe they did, for the moon or the stars, which only leave them moist with dew, like tears on their leaves, just before the sun is about to rise. Those feelings I had, I let them die like those flowers. It's alright seeing them die that early, although it's spring. It's difficult to force them to live - you water them and care for them - and yet you'll see them die, more and more, the more you find pleasure in taking care of them. Seeing them die even you take care of them each day is worse than just letting them go all at once.
Gone in Spring
I felt like I lost my chance ever since you answered that question of mine. It's as if the flower buds are about to bloom, in season, since spring is about to come. But then, after I learned about your answer, it's spring, and yet the flowers have died and they didn't even bloom or woken up to the sun for once. Maybe they did, for the moon or the stars, which only leave them moist with dew, like tears on their leaves, just before the sun is about to rise. Those feelings I had, I let them die like those flowers. It's alright seeing them die that early, although it's spring. It's difficult to force them to live - you water them and care for them - and yet you'll see them die, more and more, the more you find pleasure in taking care of them. Seeing them die even you take care of them each day is worse than just letting them go all at once.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
GD GIF MICHIGO
Because my friend requested for her favorite parts at GD's latest MV:
"VROOM! VROOM!"
Here's the link for the MV --> G-Dragon - MICHIGO M/V
Hahahahaha!
Hahahahaha!
Comment for gif requests. Lol.
Please acknowledge me thru proper credits since I haven't done watermarks yet.
Thanks!
Follow me on Twitter, too!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Travel Blog... Coming Soon!
Hi. It's been a long time since I posted a blog entry. Been too busy with so many things, that's why.
But anyway, I just want to share this short reflection of mine during our retreat which led me to decide on what should I do after graduation. Well yes, aside from getting myself employed and get rich (LOL), I decided to make a travel blog.
How do I ever thought of this?
I honestly don't know. But while I was sitting on this bench, listening to music alone and thinking of so many things [because my depressive episode attacked me, and yes, as shown on the picture above, taken by Arkon (thank you!)], I suddenly thought of buying a stuff toy, give it a name, bring it whenever I travel and take a photo of it with a tourist spot on the background and blog about its adventures and experiences. Haha! I really find this hilarious and I'm definitely going to do this after graduation.
It's a simple reflection, I know, but I think it will be through this kind of blog that I could still apply what I have learned in my Creative Writing class, and also, I could find simple joys in it. With a camera in one hand and the stuff toy on the other, I could really accomplish this travel blog. I just really have to be persistent in doing updates so future readers won't miss a thing.
Aaahh... Getting more and more excited for this.
I hope someone with a kind soul could help me get a name for this baby once I buy one. :)
But anyway, I just want to share this short reflection of mine during our retreat which led me to decide on what should I do after graduation. Well yes, aside from getting myself employed and get rich (LOL), I decided to make a travel blog.
How do I ever thought of this?
I honestly don't know. But while I was sitting on this bench, listening to music alone and thinking of so many things [because my depressive episode attacked me, and yes, as shown on the picture above, taken by Arkon (thank you!)], I suddenly thought of buying a stuff toy, give it a name, bring it whenever I travel and take a photo of it with a tourist spot on the background and blog about its adventures and experiences. Haha! I really find this hilarious and I'm definitely going to do this after graduation.
It's a simple reflection, I know, but I think it will be through this kind of blog that I could still apply what I have learned in my Creative Writing class, and also, I could find simple joys in it. With a camera in one hand and the stuff toy on the other, I could really accomplish this travel blog. I just really have to be persistent in doing updates so future readers won't miss a thing.
Aaahh... Getting more and more excited for this.
I hope someone with a kind soul could help me get a name for this baby once I buy one. :)
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